When the One You Love Won’t Get Help

I had a heart wrenching response to my post, A woman was very concerned about her mother who is struggling with emotional problems. Her mother has been unresponsive to her requests and concerns. Her mother has refused to get help and she sees her mother slipping away into depression.

I believe many of us have faced or will face similar situations. Some of these situations will be big and some will be small. Sometimes we want our significant others to keep a doctor’s appointment or see a dentist. Our requests fall on deafened Ears. Sometimes our concerns are extremely painful as our significant others fail to seek medical treatment for symptoms of major medical illnesses.

This is what I told the woman who was concerned about her mother.

I believe that is necessary to empower your mother. I recommend that you communicate to her that you have confidence in her ability to assess her situation and determine when and if she might need assistance. Putting responsibility for her health into her care will empower her.

I would let your mother know that you love her and are willing to accept whatever decisions she makes regarding her life. I also would make sure your mother knows that you feel loved and accepted by her even though you always don’t agree on issues.

It is important for you to remain strong and determined to take care of you and your family. Communicate to your mother that you are confident in taking care of yourself and your family. Also communicate to your mother that you have confidence in her regarding taking care of herself.

In conclusion, we must recognize our limitations even though it is painful and difficult. We can only make decisions to take care of ourselves. We cannot make decisions to take care of adults who are resisting. We must realize that people like this woman’s mother cannot be made to make decisions we feel are better for them until they are ready, if ever. Sometimes when we stop pushing people to make decisions for themselves, they begin to realize the need for making such decisions for themselves and will seek help.