The 10 Step Plan To Get Fat & Unhealthy Quick!

1. Eat alot of carbs: White bread, white pasta, french fries & more.

2. Drink plenty of sodas & high sugar juices: Hey, you're going to need something to wash all those french fries down, right?

3. Fry everything: There's nothing better than some good ol' fried chicken. Also, try some delicious fried potatoes, fried bacon, fried eggs, heck, even fry your turkey for Thanksgiving!

4. Make sure to stock up on junk food: Mmmmm! Nice crunchy, salty potato chips! What about some chocolate chip cookies, snack cakes, ice cream, ahhh, the list goes on and on. Just make sure you stock up plentiful of these wonderful delicious snacks.

5. Don't eat breakfast: Running late? No problem. You don't need breakfast. You can just fill up with some delicious fast food on your lunch break.

6. Overflow your plate: Make sure that when you are placing food on your plate, you overflow it with all that tasty food. I mean come on...you can never be too full!

7. Don't drink any water: Yuck! Water has no flavor whatsoever. All water does is make you full (why would you want to be full?), flushes out your system (that sounds nasty!), and is necessary for your body in general (oh please, the only thing necessary for your body is that ice cold 48oz. soda from the convenience store....oh, and don't forget the chips.)

8. Don't eat too often: Make sure you have just 2-3 HUGE meals a day. You have to slow up your metabolism so that you can pack on all those sexy beautiful pounds.

9. Don't eat fiber: Ewwww! Bran foods? Whole Grain foods? No thank you! Why would you want to keep your cholesterol level down? That would mean you would have to give up all those delicious cookies and fried chicken! Fiber helps curb your appetite. Uh-oh...we don't want that, now do we?!

10. Last but not least - Do not exercise!: Stop, put the weights down and go get the ice cream sandwich. They say you should at least take a walk daily....uhhh....don't you already do that every day walking back and forth to your refridgerator & cabinets.

Congratulations! You have now completed The 10 Step Plan To Get Fat & Unhealthy Quick. Don't forget to weigh yourself daily to watch those pounds skyrocket!

Now, I'm not sure why you would want to do this, but if you want the opposite plan to the one above, then visit this stupid website to find out all you need to know to become a healthy, in shape, skinny/muscular dork!

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